Once upon a time, I was fallin' in love, now I'm only fallin' apart.

So...I noticed a lot of changes in myself. Before I realized.., I became really bitchy. I started giving attitude to those who cared, I started ignoring those who cared, I started hanging out and always self-pitying myself when I feel mistreated by my friends when they're the ones who were always there. I'm not sure what's gotten into me. But I know one thing: All this happened after I entered the life of Sec2. I feel more depressing, more high and loud, more annoying, more bugging, well, I did change for the worse, that's for sure.

I remembered when, in Sec1, I used to be really out-of-place, I belonged to nowhere. I hung out with Jonie and Melissa, but soon fell out with them and decided to move away before they kicked me out, and I joined Amani, Abigail, Ainul, Arina and Effa. We soon formed the group Drunkards. And amongst my class, I formed Gummis. We had 5 sapphire and 3 emerald gummis, and 3 topaz gummis. Then...a lot of things happened. Before I knew it, I was alone with Amani and Arina.

At about the start of year, because Arina didn't have duty, Amani had company. So I decided to hang out with the guys. FanXing, ZhiCheng, MinHao, Keniko, Taufik, YangZhi, QiRong, YongJun and a few others. We always hung out with Joyomitro and ShaoYi outside the gym area after our meals, and they were always with me and would wait for me if I had to get something or go to the washroom. We'd go back to class together and many mistook me to be one of the guys' girlfriend.

But soon after that, I left them. And...Arina got nominated to be a Student Councilor. She had duty during her recess, so it was just left with Amani and myself. Stranded, we just slacked around every day, during recess, doing our own stuffs at the stone table and eating and gossiping all the time. I noticed that and felt very uneasy. I didn't want a friend who was a mere gossiping partner. Though I knew that she was my closest friend and knew the most about me, but I needed my own space, and I soon went with Patrine, Sy, Fenna and YingLing.

And once again, lots of stuffs happened. Fenna soon left the group, but joined back later after Sy and Fenna patched back together. Then, YingLing fell out with us recently. It's her birthday today, too. And...well, I know many people have been talking behind my back. Like Jiawei and the others, I know. But obviously, there won't be smoke without fire. Obviously, it was something I did that made them gossip about me and badmouth me. I don't really have anywhere to go now..

And halfway through that period when I changed from Amani to the clique, I met him. I started talking to him and just within 3 days, we put that r/s status just for the fun of it. It became real since who-knows-when to him, and it became real to me after our outing on 24 April, 2011. After that..we started hanging out and just slacking about at the Mac Tables during the examinations period. And soon after that, we went out again. He soon fell ill, and...we broke up. Just like that, and I'm alone again, with nowhere to go..

I don't know what's gotten into me but..I know I've lost myself after stepping up into Sec2 life. Many stuffs happened and people changed. I changed a lot, and for the worse, apparently. Though I got less violent, everything else that's negative increased. Everyone that cared, left. Zs, Amani, Victor, Jinghui, FanXing, Jiawei, everyone.. And all that's left here are the people who are just faking it. There's just no point in going to school and meeting them all the time, anymore.. They don't care anyways...