Day 1/60.

He texted me today. He did. But it wasn't pleasant.

He told me, "Hey, the only way for you to forget about me is to erase everything you know about me. Good luck to you in school..." Everything just crashed. Everything. Just...kaboom. Gone, poof. Fuck. Then I cried in the car, for a little while, but I didn't make a sound. So I was kinda' like sobbing. The tears just fell.. Then I saw him for the first period of the day; P.E. Had to measure height and weight, I was 160cm at 51kg. I don't know about him.. And I saw him slacking and playing around with his friends. His friends looked at me. He was having fun. I pretended like I was, too. It was the only thing I could have done, to laugh and smile like a cheerful retard when deep down I just feel like whacking everyone and tearing everything apart. It hurts. All of it. So much. So I've decided to give myself 60 days of a break, to stop thinking of him. And then, when I have the mood, hopefully I can go up to him once more, one more time, and say "hi". With a broad smile, with my feelings gone. But, can I? (...) Nearly used the sharp mathematical instruments to hurt myself today, if it wasn't for MinHao. Perseverance. Just don't know how to survive now, on my own..

I don't want to hurt anymore. But fuck, I still love you.

If one day, you ever see this blog and all of its contents, I just hope you'd miss me. I just hope you'd regret not wanting me back. I just hope you'd show a little concern. Anger, jealousy, sorrow or happiness, just...something. It's like, fuck, I don't even know what to do to make you talk to me. It's as if we never were together and everything was just a dream. How would you want me to believe that? It's like, my wildest fantasy come true. And then everything crashes and I wake up from my dream. Like, fuck, where did it all go? Why did it fade? I guess it was time. Time would prove true love. I guess you didn't love me. Now, I'm just afraid of getting over you. Because I know that when I get over you, more people will come into my life. And I'm to face it all over again. I don't want to. I just want you. No one else.

I'm afraid of the fact that I'd lose you forever. I'm afraid of the fact that I'd cry if you leave forever. I'm afraid of the fact that you'd treat me so coldly as if we were arch-enemies. I'm afraid. I'm human, this is me. I'm THIS fragile. And you broke me. When you promised not to. Why did you have to promise me that when you couldn't keep it, why did you promise so many things and just left them hanging and leaving them? I'm sorry that I sound like I'm pushing all the blame to you since I was partially at fault. Because of my personality, looks, everything. I was flawed, and I still am. I often called you nasty things like bastard, asshole, and often made fun of your name.. I'm sorry. It was all my fault. If only I noticed how you felt sooner. If only I bothered to show even the slightest bit of concern. If only I cared.. If only I made the effort to give rather than take all the time, if only I tried to make the relationship work out..maybe things would've turned out different. Maybe we'd still be together. Maybe...maybe we'd keep our promises; to be with each other.

Right now, I'm sorry for being like this. I really have no one to go to. Everyone's like a stranger to me. No one close to me, no one cares anymore. Everyone was just curious; they never cared. I could've sworn you did. But I guess you don't anymore, since this is what has become of me. I don't know what came over me. I feel lost. Everything's so far away yet the distance is so near. Everyone's laughing out there. And I'm over here, alone, with nothing. The only thing I've ever relied on was myself. And the only things I could have ever confined into and pour out all my emotions to is the babypooh which represents you, and this blog. This blog has kept all my thoughts. I can't write in a diary since it would get unlocked sooner or later. This blog's not safe either since it's easily hacked and visible to the blogger creators. But...it's like the only thing that I can vent everything to, and feel better. Though it won't reply. Sometimes a listening ear is all I need.

I guess I just have to get used to being single. I don't want to go into a relationship anymore. Honestly, I still am bent on the idea that I want no one but you. It's just you. I don't know why I love you even. You're not the most perfect, but I just do. And I don't know what went wrong, don't know why you went away.. But...if you won't talk to me, then no matter what I do, you just won't tell me anything. I miss you.

Forever is what I promised.

Watched La Femme. Memories of us flashed through my mind. Even though we didn't do much together, didn't go through a lot.. Do you still remember when we first went out? We headed to buy the tickets after eating and going split ways from my dajie and korkor at a food court. Then, we headed to toy stores and went around and around. Then landed at Toys 'R' Us because I wanted to look for paint. But in the end, we ended up walking around and around, then you told me to buy those kiddy games and so did I. And you wanted to carry your jacket because you didn't want me to carry it since I was giving the sian face, but I didn't give it to you because I wanted to hold on anyways. :B We walked around and window-shopped, before you headed to BATA and bought your school shoes. Then you went to the toilet. >< Then...we went to the movies and watched Source Code. You put your hand across and held my hand with your other hand. And I got really nervous and had sweaty palms. :$ Then, we went around again before going to meet dajie and korkor. And we got lost in Vivo because we went the wrong direction. And after we met them, we went to Candy Empire and bought my jellybeans. ^.^ And then you went the other direction. ): 

Then, we met downstairs my house and I hugged you for the very first time after walking all the way to a coffee shop and buying my french fries. Then I pecked you on your cheek after your persuasion but you wanted a kiss. >.< And below my house and outside the lift, you wanted to kiss and came so close, omg, got me completely scared out of my wits. x.x And then, I gave you my first kiss on 2nd May, 2011. Outside my house. That place brings a lot of memories.. And then we met on 5th May in your classroom and kissed. Then walked back to the Parade Square while avoiding teachers. And you coached me in my studies and told me to memorize the Science stuff and also, my Mathematics worksheets etc etc. Sheesh. :( Then...we went out again after several meetings outside my house/on the 5th floor's staircase. Headed to NEX this time, my first time going and I was completely lost and you held my hand and brought me around. :x Went to Popular and you were parrot-ing a few people by copying their speech. :P So cute ttm. ^^ And said that you would buy a book that I pointed out the other time. Miss those times so much.. I headed for the camp, you fell sick. And before I knew, we were over. 

I'm sorry for being so rash and sending you those angry texts saying that I don't care anymore..I still do. I always will.. It's as if whenever I think about you and the stuff we did together, all my anger dissipates. I love you still, as strong as ever. And the feeling will only grow as the days pass. I hope you'd see. :(

All hope lost.

You didn't reply when I asked if you were busy. Were you really that busy, or did you just not want to reply me? You could've told me. But you didn't. Disappointment fills me. It's hard enough to even strike up a conversation with you, but now, I have to go straight to the point and ask for a patch. And knowing that you'd reject me flat, I'm really lost. I don't know what to do, what to say, what to even think. What should I do? I want you to know that I love you, but I'm too scared to confess, I don't want to face rejection. Yet, I don't want to lose you either. (...) And I've no one to turn to anymore.. I just want to give up, so much..

Remember me? I used to be your favorite hello, your hardest goodbye, I used to be the person you wanted to talk to most and will miss me if you didn't get to talk to me. I used to be someone you wanted to be with every day and night, I used to be the first thought on your mind in the morning and the last thought before you go to sleep, I used to be the person who you wished to see me smile when I'm down and who wish I didn't cry, I used to be the most beautiful person to you. Yeah, I used to be that person. Do you still remember me?

Untitled.

It's a sixteenth today.

Did memories run through your head? Have you thought about me at all? Have you come to a decision? Have you truly bothered about us, bothered about this relationship? I think you have cared for me and loved me. But, why did you stop? I'm just so confused. Gosh. (...)

For the past few days, a lot of thoughts have been running through my mind. Though I seem like a living dead now, with all the sleepless nights and the hopeless yawning in the early morning. Anyways, I'm going to a Buddhist talk again tonight. And whenever I remember that, thoughts of you, once again, flow in. And on this Sunday, I'm going on a trip to a vegetable garden or some sort, with my aunt and cousins. I just hope, that I won't feel too distracted and all, and they wouldn't ask anything nor tell me to cheer up or whatever shit because all I want is to patch up with you the second you return from Indonesia. I miss you. );

How are you doing there? Are you getting along with your mummy? I hope you are, since you are, afterall, a family. Are you feeling lonely? I'm over here. Have you fallen ill? I hope not, since you've always been a lazy ass and you never do take care of yourself properly. Slacker. ): I hope you'll come back to me after you return though. It's my only wish. Well...I'll end here alright. Bye. (:

At least, even for a while, I was the reason behind your smile.

Starting all over again.

Headed to Malaysia during the holidays, 10 June - 12 June. Was a little busy, had some fun with my younger cousins but damn, they are fucking immature. -.- Together with my maternal side's cousins, they're super awesome. ^^ Had a chat with my older cousin, Karen, and talked to her about guys and other stuff. Geez. :x So yup, celebrated Father's Day in advance, for my grandfather(paternal side), and went out for lots of food with them. Had lively conversations with my aunts and uncles, though some of them disturbed me because I was getting fatter and fatter, become pig le la! T^T

So anyways, after I came back, text-ed ZS immediately. And today...had ChineseOrchestra. Ingrid told me stuff, more things that I didn't know which was about the breakup. She told me that that stupid pig needed to "chill" while I wasn't at fault. Stupid pig. ): Wei semo ni bu ken gen wo shuo?! Wei semo yao cang zai xin li mian..); Dear, I've told you, no matter what status we hold, I'll always love you, no matter what. I don't give a fuck to anyone who hates me, I'll fuck the lives of those who hate you and I just want to be with you. No one else. Stupid pig, I don't want you to leave my side just because you have to think through stuff. ); These few days, I kept crying. I kept crying because I kept missing you. But last night, I told myself, that so long as hearing your name will make me smile, it's enough reason to have me holding on tight. I love you, Ong Zhan Song, no one else, no matter what you do, nor what you say, I don't want to and won't ever let go.

The times we were happy together are worth the times I cry alone.

2nd Day. I thought a lot. A lot of shit got into my head. :'/ 

So...this post is a letter, again, as always, to ZhanSong...:

Hello pig.

I really miss you. Like, really, a whole damn lot. Last time, even thinking about breaking up was painful and dreadful enough to bring tears to my eyes. But now, it's real. It's the real deal now. It really hurts. I've never ever felt this way to any guy, ever. Every night, before I went to bed, I'd always form the words "I l o v e Z h a n S o n g" with my fingers, and I'd always make the heart-shape with my index and middle fingers. Every night, even now. And every night, I'd hug my bolster, pretending it was you so that I could sleep well.

But ever since 2 days ago, I didn't. I couldn't sleep at all. I'd hug my bolster, really tight, remembering the first time when you kissed me, remembering all the times we've spent together. And even though I cried, I still couldn't fall asleep. Until about 3am, or 5am... But I couldn't sleep too long, either. Because whenever I closed my eyes, even in my dreams, you were there. Day 1 when you left, I dreamt of us going out on a third outing, which would never happen... And today, I dreamt of you hugging me.

I can't forgive myself for having hurt you, for having been such an asshole to you during the 52 days we were together. Constantly being such a bitch, losing my temper, not letting you talk about sex and stuff and even telling you off when you're not willing to sleep or eat. And for always being so cold and giving you cold replies...I'm sorry dear. I guess it was the right thing to let me go. I'd have a taste of my own medicine. 

Dear, I really miss you. I never expected us to last so short. I really never would've expected us to end. Much less expect that you would've initiated it. Ni zhi dao mah, that night, I got really mad at you, and I wanted to text you a 6-letter long text and wanted to break up, but I didn't. I drafted it. But then...you sent me that text, telling me to go view my inbox. Immediately, I ran out of my room and told my father that I wanted to use it, only to see that inbox message...which crashed my dreams.

"i think... its better for us to stay as friends.. idk why but when i was sick i thought alot. Like really alot, I've been forcing myself to love you but i just couldn't.... I'm really sorry for being such a useless and lousy boyfriend for the past month... There are still lots of guys out there for you, im sure there are lots of them that are better than me. I'm really sorry but if this drags on , it's gona hurt more.... I'm sorry.. But I did love you and I appreciate all the things you've done for me."

You've forced yourself to love me. I know it pricked, I know you've been hurt, haven't you? ): I'm sorry for making you go through all that. And dear.., you were never useless, nor lousy. You were the best boyfriend I could've ever asked for. And that, I vow to God. VictorGoh once told me that I was one of the best in terms of both personality and looks, and that the only thing I had to be confused about is choosing the right guy. But...I chose you. And you turned out to be the one that I wanted.

Dear, you told me you loved me. You told me, that we'd go to Pizza Hut together next time. You told me that you'd never let go of me no matter what, and that I would never lose you. You told me you'd get me a monthsary gift when we go out the next time. You told me you wanted to marry me. ); Ni wang le mah..?

I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss looking at you then turning away, then you'd make the really cute 'tsk' sound. I miss you coming close to me for a kiss. I miss us going out. I miss us holding hands. I miss the time when we went to Popular and just hung around. I miss the time when I was looking at something that I found cute, and you'd say you'd buy it for me. I miss the time when you made fun of people when they were talking really loud about something, then you joked about it and we both chuckled.

I miss the time when I sat beside you in the theater, the first time when you were about to peck on my cheek and I avoided it. And the second time, when I was resting my head on your shoulders while your hand was on my thigh(which was so fattttt~). I miss the times when you'd run from the temple just to see me, and then I'd keep avoiding you and keep laughing. Then you'd ask me, "Why keep smiling~" or "Why keep laughing~" so cute-ly. I miss those times we were together. I miss you running all the way from Novena and almost being late, but still willing to risk and go to your class and meet me, just for that kiss on 5th May.

I miss us holding hands and meeting at the Mac Tables. I miss you nagging at me to study my Science papers. I miss you looking at me with those really shiny eyes *-*(LOLLL.) I miss us being in the canteen together and getting disturbed by others like Ivy, Esther, Colin, Azmi, JiaWei and the rest. I miss the time when I was walking beside you, but I didn't see you because I was looking down at my phone, and you shouted "I love you", which was so sweet. I miss the times we've spent together, even for just a second. </3

I want to know where I went wrong. I want to know. ): Dear, I just want you. NO ONE ELSE.

I keep crying whenever I think about you, leaving. It just hurts so much... Dear, no one else. Just you.. );

I miss you so fucking much. I'm sorry. I'm willing to change, anything at all. ):

I'll change and not be so bad to you anymore. I'll change to be a better person. I'll change to not guailan nor kaopei you anymore. I'll change to not ignore you and flare up so easily. I'll change to be nicer, to be better to you. I'll change, I won't emo so much le. I'll change my attire, I can try losing some weight if you think that my outer looks suck(which, I know it does). I'll do anything, really. Just for you to return. );

Wo zhen de hen xiang ni...); I want no one else but you, Ong Zhan Song. I love you. ):

160420111753 - 070620112340.

Okay, so...I'm single now. Day 1 of being single. Haha.

Well, ZS went to Indonesia by ferry this morning. Wish I had made him stay, mentally. But there are things that I have to accept and let go off, even if I don't want to. Because leaving things as they are, it'll obviously hurt both of us more so long as we hold on longer. :'/ I wish I knew how to be a better me, to have made you stay, to have kept your heart locked up with mine. To have you loving me.

So yup...you're gone now. You idiot, why did you have to leave?! ); I bet I was a horrible girlfriend to you, wasn't I? If only I gave up that one thing you asked for, if only I did better as my status of your girlfriend, if only I cared more. Maybe you would have stayed. But it's all too late..

Ni hai ji de mah? When we first talked. You asked me if your hair look like shit. Then we chat on endlessly, with all random topics, and we made up jokes that no one else would've understood. Then we decided to put the relationship just for the fun of it. Malvis liked it, you told me that the news would've spread like wildfire. And it did. On the next school day, your classmates that were in Chinese Orchestra kept disturbing me about this, even Nathaniel and JiaEn and the rest. Haha. Then, we went out. And then we met below my house, I hugged you and pecked your cheek. Then, 2nd May, I gave you my first kiss. 

Then after that, 5 May, we had our first long kiss in your classroom, then a few on 6 May. And we proceeded like that, even when exams were going on. Oh yeah, I think I told you before, I wrote your name in my composition. Haha. It was a little lame though. 26 April; Do you still remember the cookies? Juztin said they were nice, Ivy and Esther stole them. :P Then...we went out again, in May. And at the evening, you were with your friends, Jarell and YuenFone. And I was with my dajie and korkor planning on how to lie to my parents about me sneaking out because my korkor blew my cover. ;\ Then you comforted me. I lost my freedom, though. And you soon came down with fever and sore-eyes. I headed for the FunFit Camp. Then...Jarell and YuenFone went to your house, but you didn't tell me. And when I asked if you headed to school, you told me, "Of course. You asking stupid question." and when I asked you if you've eaten, you told me, "Lunch of course la. You asking stupid question again. Dinner haven." It made me cry, like totally. :/

I didn't expect us to last this short, though. Ted lasted for 141 days, without hugs nor kisses. Yours lasted for 52, with the two. :'/ I was disappointed that you didn't have feelings for me anymore, but even more disappointed with myself for letting you go just like that. If I could, I would go up to you right now, go on my knees, and beg you to stay. But even so, nothing will make you stay. I bet you were sick and tired of me.

I'm sorry for having been a horrible girlfriend towards you throughout these 52 days. I'm sorry for always guailan-ing you and kp-ing you all this time. I'm sorry for always doubting you. I'm sorry for always getting so emo all of a sudden, and affecting your mood. I'm sorry for not having been a better me. I'm sorry for not changing, for still being so immature; for apologizing so much. I'm sorry ZhanSong, really.

Hanging by a thread.

So tired of loving. Did you know, my friends told me to give up on you and break up with you. Well, most of them did. Some of them told me to hang on and find the reason why you've been treating me so cold. Even my brother knows of what you're doing to me, now. I knew he could help and give me advice; he was an honest guy after all. My brother, my only kin that I can trust with any secret. He told me to hold on because I wouldn't hurt myself deeper by letting you go. He told me that handmade gifts are the most valuable thing in the world. But when I gave it to you...you didn't seem happy. Rather, disappointed. I don't know why. :'/

BabyZS, I really don't know whether to hold on to our relationship that doesn't even look like a relationship, or to break up and lead us back to square one- strangers. I don't know of the consequences of breaking up with you, but I don't know what life, in a positive sense, may bring, if I do. I've text you and asked you why you're like this lately, but you're not giving me an answer. :/ Not a single fucking reply. (...) Really disappointed, yet not willing to let go. I bet you don't know what's going on in my mind, right? I bet you don't know all the songs I've played, all the tears I've shed, and all the broken smiles I put on. And obviously, you wouldn't know how much I love you. All those tears I've shed, it was painful. You made me cry effortlessly. But when I cry because of Ted, in the past, I used to cry only after remembering the times I've spent with him and Jonathan. Yours is effortless, the tears fall immediately when I miss you. ;(

Fever, sorethroat, heartache.

Reality is just so revolting.

I'm not expecting much. Just what an ordinary boyfriend would do.

I just want some concern, some care in this cold and relentless world. It's dark. It's lonely, without you. I sent you a text last night regarding why you're feeling so moody lately. You didn't reply in the morning. I thought I got you angry, so I told you to take it as if I've never sent that text before. But I don't know, now, if I should apologize for listening to J and sending you that text, or to take it as you're busy and am working. I don't know, it's after your work hours, but you haven't sent a single reply. Not even a blank text. I don't know why, but I keep crying lately. :'/ It's not tears of happiness, quite the opposite. I keep missing the ZhanSong I knew and I vowed to, to always love, from the start of the relationship. I keep remembering how you were, how you always acted, how you always looked at me, how you always told your friends to go away or shut up, jokingly, when they disturb us because we were together in the canteen. 

From that second we put our relationship status, we've attracted quite a huge number of people. They know either of us, and they tend to disturb us over this. But we've never cared. At least, I didn't.. I didn't mind them disturbing us because I knew it was a joke. But soon, I did. Because after you told me that you were taking this relationship for real, things became much colder, things became serious. I could never look at you the same, nor could I play along with you anymore. I had to take you for real; my boyfriend. I had to care, and I had to let go of Ted. And I did. But I'm not sure if you did too, for J. You told me you did, and you ensured me that your heart belongs to me, and only me. But now...I'm not sure if you'd say the same. Every time I read through the Archived Messages in my phone, I'd always smile to myself because all they had were simple yet sweet texts that always made my day. Remember when you said that I was sot because I misunderstood you for being sad? You told me that you could only be sad over me, nothing else. I'm not sure but...what is the cause of your sadness now?

I know you're recovering, so you're really sian lately, but...not even a text? :'/ I know you're disappointed in me for being banned from going out, and for me to straightforwardly tell you that I want you to come over despite me already knowing that you can only come on Fridays. I think you think I suck. Yup, I do. Because I'm a pathetic girlfriend who can't even do shit and can't even speak up for myself, much less for you. You have your friends who dotA with you a lot. I saw your wall posts with J. If it wasn't for me taking the fucked up initiative to ask you to put the relationship status, I doubt you would never have taken me for real, much less, as a girlfriend. And all those outings, hugs, kisses and vows would never have been done. But they were done, they're in history now. I'm sorry for making you go into a relationship with me when neither of us have completely healed the wound from our exes. I know it hurts. I know it hurts even more, to have a girlfriend who's much worse than your ex. Yup, I'm fat, and flat, I know you don't aim for girls like me. It was because of me, that you became like that.

Yup, my fault. I'm fine if you dump me. Really. :'/ Just know, that I love you. For real. 

And baby, trust me, you were never supposed to have meant so much to me. But you do.. Remember when you sent me the text that said that we'll be so much better than our previous relationships, and that you wanted to stay in my heart? You're standing on it right now. But I don't know if you're going to walk away...

Guess I should just wait.

I'm missing you, and I can't stand the pain.

So yeah... Bii went to the Leadership program today. Don't know what time he'll be done. :( Miss him totheveryfuckingmax now. Hope he's not doing anything funny >< Bleh.

Bii, ni hai ji de mah? When we first met, all we did was say hi and then walked away. Then, there was the time when JingHui was talking about someone, and you walked past, and asked "Who?" LOL. It was super hilarious, I swear! Then she guailan-ed you, saying, "Aiya, not you can liao." :P Super cute max! Then, we started chatting online and on 13 April, you suddenly asked if your hairstyle look like shit. I told you it didn't look like, but you kept insisting that it was. Made me sad only. :( Then we started chatting and chatting on with no end on topics that had never crossed my mind. Then, we decided to put the relationship on 16 April 2011. I never expected us to become a couple, like, for real! Then, on the first school day after we put our relationship, both of us got disturbed like kns only by our classmates and the people around, and we even met outside Music Room because I told you I wanted to meet you :x And I kept saying "Hi" like a retard because you only looked at me :( Made me feel stupid you know :/ But nvm, ♥. And then, we went to eat with Ingrid because I asked her to tag along because I was fucking shy, LOL. And you kept disturbing me also, tell your friends that I'm your girlfriend! LOLLL.

So, we kept it that way, until the outing, when you held me close and did all the intimate stuff, which got me really confused about how you felt because I thought you didn't take the relationship for real, just like me. But you did. So I decided to, too. Then, we met up downstairs my house on 29 April. You hugged me, and initiated, a lot of times, to kiss. But I kept avoiding. Dui bu qi... T^T Then on 2nd May, you came up to my house this time. But we met outside, at the staircase. Before I left, you held me against the wall and kept coming closer, I wanted to avoid but...I decided to get it over with. Haha, MY FIRST KISS OKAY! >< Then I fell down and you helped me up x.x Embarrassing ttm. >.< Thenthen, we met again on 5th May, in your class, and we had our first long kiss, but I kinda' screwed it up :$ YouknowIknow >< DON'T MENTION HOR, EMBARRASSING TTM CAN. Haha, then we went out again on 21 May, watched Movie, again. And I kissed you, again. :x Hehehe ♥ Bii, I know, that throughout all this time we were together, you gave in a lot, and you overlooked a lot of things. You let me flirt with other guys, you didn't get mad when I constantly rejected your lustful thoughts, you didn't get mad when I purposely wanted to get you mad to test you, and you always loved me, wholeheartedly. Bii, I'm sorry if I don't show that I care. I'm sorry that I can't be like your ex-girlfriends, who could meet up with you anytime, any day. I'm sorry for being different from your exes, and more childish, more immature. :( But bii, wo zhen de hen ai ni... I wanna be your wife! I love you, forever and always, Ong Zhan Song. ♥

I wanted you to be there when I fall.

Ever since you, BabyZS, came into my life, ever since 3 days before we played our relationship game, my life became a whole lot brighter. But, I expected us to maintain as that, friends. Maybe a little more, but never expected us to be boyf and girlf. Remember when you asked me what transport I used to get to school? I told you that I used a flying carpet, and a unicorn. :P Haha, those tiny moments, though I can't seem to remember, were the best. Because I remembered how I laughed at the tiniest jokes. You made me smile when no one else could, ever since Ted left. And now, he's gone. I need you, and only you. No one else matters. But if one day.., if we were to ever part, and I were to choose between Amani and you, I might choose Amani. She was there for me, she saw me cry, she saw me laugh. She saw through the fake smiles, she helped me up. Though she made fun of me and who I liked once, though we fell out often due to small quarrels or disagreements, but she was there, through it all. She's never left. Haha :P But, you might hate me for saying all this.. BabyZS, I love you, and only you. No other boy has made me laugh like you did, and no other boy has made me cried like you did. No other boy made my heart pound like you did, and no other boy loved me so daringly and bravely like you did. You make me feel complete, you complete me. <3 I love you, Ong Zhan Song. Forever and always, so long as you hold on. I'm still waiting, for all the times we'd get to spend together, 3 years down the road, when my freedom is granted. We'd go out, we'd hang out, in school, during breaks, and let anyone and everyone be jealous of us. We'd be the best. ^^ My dear, I want to spend forever with you, and forever is what I mean. I'm sorry I got lost these few days, sorry for being emotional as always. I promise I'll try my best to not to so anymore, I'll do my best to change into an optimist. For you. <3

I love you, OngZhanSong. ♥